Aidan: I’m going to be really smart for the wedding.

Me: I know, mate. We’ve got your suit all ready for you.

Aidan: … But if I go to another wedding, I’m going to dress really smart. I’ll wear jeans, and a jumper, and a top, and trainers that are black and yellow, and socks with advertizements on them. Do you know what ‘advertizements’ are?

Me: What are they?

Aidan: They’re pictures of town halls. I’m going to be so smart.

Aidan, men’s formal wear expert.