The Nameless Horror

That was quick. HARDBOILED JESUS: VENGEANCE IS MINE has hit the virtual shelves, available for pocket change. You can get it in the UK, in the US and worldwide for nowt more than shrapnel. Adele at Un:Bound asked me for some info on it, so I figure I might as well share the extra stuff I mentioned by email so people have a clue what this is (those who didn’t read it in years gone by that is).

It was something I wrote in… uh… 2005? 2006? A long time, and several blogs, ago, and it got rather lost to the ages. I’d had a yen to do some comical hardboiled pastiche, and when I had the idea for the line, “I died for your sins, you fuck!” Jesus-as-cop seemed the perfect fit. (Hence, the aim’s always been to amuse the many rather than attempt to shock the religious; I don’t think it’s really at all offensive.) I didn’t even have it as files any more (nor did the Wayback Machine), but had to type it out by hand from my print copy of ‘Out Of The Gutter’ magazine, where it graced their #2 issue and their ‘worst of’ collection. Still, gave me the chance to give it another editing eyeball. Despite that, the few who read it still seem to remember it fondly and it’s something of a small cult (as in, “That John Rickards, he’s a complete and total cult.”) story.

I began a sequel (“HBJC: The Root Of All Evil”) about the theft of a massively toxic penis, but never finished it. If this release sells at all - and I have no idea if it will - then it’ll give me a reason to complete that. The cover’s going to be trickier for that one though. This time round I just had to photograph my own hand flipping the bird against a lump of wood, shop in a nail, then pen-outline-and-fill it to cartoonify it. My current working concept for the sequel’s cover would be a massive erection under a loincloth, and I’m not sure I can do that as a self-portrait shot.

I’d need a wide-angle lens, for starters. Fnar, fnar.

So there you have it. Now fly, you fools, and make me millions so that I can build myself a golden calf to live in.

Couple of reviews of TRG are floating on the google seas. Several arms of a local newspaper group up north are carrying this one:

The Razor Gate is a tense, gritty and brutal story with a cleverly worked and moving undertone.

Frighteningly addictive.

Edit: Somehow I missed this part:

Sean Cregan, who admits to taking up writing at university in the US as a way of escaping his engineering degree, has become a master of the thriller genre.

His books resonate with blood-soaked action, psychological drama and nail-biting tension.

Aw, that’s a pull-quote right there. And lovely to see someone thinking of me as American. Which, as every American who’s ever read anything I’ve written knows, isn’t something that happens, or is likely to happen, often…

While the Fringe ezine says this:

This is the second book in a dark urban thriller by Sean Cregan and the first one I have read by this author. Cregan writes a tight and fast paced novel with short chapters in the style of James Patterson – one to two pages per chapter.

The concept of The Razor’s Gate is great, with a serial killer/s knocking out the victims and taking them to perform an operation that results in the victim having exactly twelve months to live. This is discovered by the victim as soon as they wake up and locate the note from the killer stating this fact.

Razor’s Gate is set in the not too distant future where technology allows this medical procedure to take place. The characters are well developed and it is easy to feel for them, especially the victims you get to know.

I found myself wanting to read the first book in the series as I got further along with reading this book to see what the characters were like and how they developed from Cregan’s initial creation.

My only complaint about this book was the ending, which seemed a bit rushed and out of character with the rest of the plot. There were a lot of sub plots tied up at the end, but the overall plot was let down a bit by the fruition of the ending. That being said, the book was very well written up to this point and I would definitely read another book written by this author.

Didn’t like the hovercraft? :( 

This isn’t the first time with either book that people have assumed it’s set in the near future. It’s not, not deliberately and certainly not explicitly, but that impression does seem to be the one that gets made. I shouldn’t be surprised - the goal was always to write cyberpunk without the cyber - but it still interests me.

How to Bury a Hooker in the Nevada Desert

I think we can all agree that a great idea for a magic trick would be where the magician pulls a pregnant woman on stage. His assistants help the pregnant woman onto a bed and then she gives birth. The doctor holds up the baby and everyone cheers. Then the baby starts aging super fast. He grows and grows until the audience realizes: IT’S THE MAGICIAN!
The room erupts in applause again even though the woman and her husband are a little like, “Jesus Christ! What about our actual baby!?” No problem! The magician gives the couple some t-shirts with his tour dates on the back. Unfortunately, he’s all out of the “Large” size so he’s forced to give them a size too big.
The couple begins walking back to their seats, but the magician calls out.
“Wait!” They turn around. Thank God! It must be about the baby’s wherabouts!
“I found another large t-shirt in this pile,” says the magician.
The crowd cheers again! Nice to see all the loose ends tied up.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vQYKfw4fBhM

Disney Punch Mash-Up Trailer (via Geeks Are Sexy)