There’s always a line with sex, drawn at different places for different people, where things get too weird to handle. They start getting scary. Maybe for a normal human being it’s those people who hang themselves by hooks from the ceiling or choking somebody. Maybe it’s wearing a wig. Maybe it’s marrying a turtle. The exact point doesn’t really matter, it’s that with Rick Santorum it starts at the earliest possible place. He’s terrified of the concept of sex. Everything to do with it. Rick Santorum is the Lou Costello of sex. He’s constantly sputtering, tapping us on the shoulder and trying to warn us about the ha-ha-ha-hairpie or ga-ga-ga-ga-gays right around the corner.