The Nameless Horror

Out In Time For Easter

That was quick. HARDBOILED JESUS: VENGEANCE IS MINE has hit the virtual shelves, available for pocket change. You can get it in the UK, in the US and worldwide for nowt more than shrapnel. Adele at Un:Bound asked me for some info on it, so I figure I might as well share the extra stuff I mentioned by email so people have a clue what this is (those who didn’t read it in years gone by that is).

It was something I wrote in… uh… 2005? 2006? A long time, and several blogs, ago, and it got rather lost to the ages. I’d had a yen to do some comical hardboiled pastiche, and when I had the idea for the line, “I died for your sins, you fuck!” Jesus-as-cop seemed the perfect fit. (Hence, the aim’s always been to amuse the many rather than attempt to shock the religious; I don’t think it’s really at all offensive.) I didn’t even have it as files any more (nor did the Wayback Machine), but had to type it out by hand from my print copy of ‘Out Of The Gutter’ magazine, where it graced their #2 issue and their ‘worst of’ collection. Still, gave me the chance to give it another editing eyeball. Despite that, the few who read it still seem to remember it fondly and it’s something of a small cult (as in, “That John Rickards, he’s a complete and total cult.”) story.

I began a sequel (“HBJC: The Root Of All Evil”) about the theft of a massively toxic penis, but never finished it. If this release sells at all - and I have no idea if it will - then it’ll give me a reason to complete that. The cover’s going to be trickier for that one though. This time round I just had to photograph my own hand flipping the bird against a lump of wood, shop in a nail, then pen-outline-and-fill it to cartoonify it. My current working concept for the sequel’s cover would be a massive erection under a loincloth, and I’m not sure I can do that as a self-portrait shot.

I’d need a wide-angle lens, for starters. Fnar, fnar.

So there you have it. Now fly, you fools, and make me millions so that I can build myself a golden calf to live in.